- Overview
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Why do I get hurt so easily? Sensitive people who get hurt in relationships and then blame themselves will find this book relatable.
- Book Intro
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A look inside the inner workings of sensitive people, written by a psychology professor from Yonsei University who has reconstructed counseling cases from his twenty years of experience. “How can you do this to me? After everything I’ve done for you…” After we go out of our way to care about someone and then are hurt, we become utterly resentful. After we give everything we’ve got and then our efforts are met with apathy, we can’t help but feel hurt. Thinking that we have to be stronger, we try to act differently but only become exhausted. In the end, in order to avoid awkwardness, we reach out to the other person first but then feel that it’s unfair that the person who has been hurt has to try to mend things. There are people who try to change because they dislike themselves for easily being hurt by other people’s words and actions. Society labels them as “sensitive.” And dissatisfied from seeing that even as they age they still get hurt and suffer, they try to use the age of 30 as a turning point for change. Psychology professor Dong-gwi Lee has heard many stories from people during his twenty years as a counselor and educator. This book is intended for all those people who are called sensitive, to give them the necessary tools for not losing sight of who they are. The book starts with twenty fictional cases that range from issues arising from relationships to internal conflicts. These stories tell of the difficult experiences people go through in their 30s. The author has a message for people who have had similar experiences and who are sure to face a lifetime of more experiences. Lee asserts that the mentality that turning 30 will change people’s lives, that their identity should be firmly established by then, needs to change. He states that it is time to give ourselves the freedom to not change. Life is not one steep linear line, but rather a gentle spiral. 30 is just one stage in a slow growing process, so we shouldn’t try to abandon who we are but start practicing to accept the differences between ourselves and others. Perhaps our lives are not as splendid as we had expected, but there’s only one person who can be considered an expert in your life: you.
- About the Author
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Dong-gwi Lee
Dong-gwi Lee is a professor of psychology at Yonsei University. Lee received his bachelors and masters from Seoul University’s psychology department. He completed his Ph.D. in counseling psychology at the University of Missouri under the guidance of Professor P. Paul Heppner, a leading authority in problem-solving counseling. Lee has held posts as professor of education at Purdue University, vice president of the Korean Society for Counseling and Psychology, and director of Human Behavior Research and deputy director of the Language Research Institute at Yonsei University. Lee’s areas of research include personality variables (perfectionism, procrastination, self-worth, etc.), mental health, and positive psychological counseling. Lee holds top certifications from the Korean Counseling Psychological Association and has been active for twenty years as a counselor and educator with the goal of improving mental health for Koreans. In addition, to improve counseling methods in the Korean military, Lee has worked on establishing qualification standards for barracks counselors as well as developing its operation manuals. Lee has been on the editorial board for numerous journals, such as Counseling Psychologist, Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development, and Journal of Mental Health Counseling. Lee has also written numerous books, including Counseling Psychology (co-author), essays and academic papers. He has won numerous Excellent Teacher Awards at Yonsei University. In 2011, he received the Outstanding Achievement in Education Award. In 2012 he was listed in the Marquis Who’s Who in the World.
